Oy-vay

I am losing my brain. I am losing my sense of self. I am gaining weight. I wish it was the opposite!
Let's see.... I haven't had time to brush my teeth, so I haven't had time to blog. Okay. That's not true. I have chosen not to blog, and rather just surf the net for some crafty ideas I can make. I have been into making things for Elli lately. Today I made her some really cute pants (pictures later). I cut off some jeans that I got really cheap and sewed some fabric onto the bottoms....cute! She likes them...she told me. She is talking like crazy! I still can't understand her, but it's getting better. She's sleeping right now - she's not in a napping mood today. She keeps waking up and fussing, but since I am ignoring her, she's going back to sleep. It's been a long day. We finished swim lessons last week. I haven't got any pictures up, because I don't have any good ones. They are on my mom's computer.
I have been working about 3 days a week...just enough to keep me from going to the gym. I have tried to think of a regular time that I could go... but I can't. Since I only have mom to babysit - and she's busy and I don't want her to feel taken advantage of or annoyed or anything, and I already use her a lot, I don't want to have to use her. Mike is busy every single day of the week and can't help me. They have day care there at the Y, but it seems gross and dirty -like she'd get sick all of the time. Argh...maybe if I quit eating.
It's 4:30 and I haven't even got dressed today. I've not had the chance. I am such a slob! Ugh! I hate this! What is wrong with me?! My stomache is expanding and jello like....my butt is blowing out of my jeans....I have mushroom hips from the excess over flow at my waist.....I don't have the excuse anymore that "I just had a baby" or "i'm pregnant"....I'm "just fat"....
I just need to vent.