I have had a long week since my last post. Levi was sick last time. Then I got it. Then Mike got it. All the while Elli was fighting a crazy high fever that wouldn't break among other things - today she's finally herself, I think. I am exhausted. I've been working with Mike and not feeling like I am helping him enough. I have been in this house for so long with no help, I am losing my already exiting mind! I have felt abandoned and alone. I feel like screaming for help, but no one will hear me. I have been hurt by people that I thought cared for my family, but are really just selfish and I don't understand how someone could intentionally hurt another person...especially when they consider themselves a strong Christian....but that's another post. I don't even know how to respond! How am I supposed to act when I see them?! I guess I'm in a bit of a funk. My anniversary is on Monday and it's already full of things and appointments that don't include celebrating together with my husband. Life is hard sometimes, and this is one of those times for me.
I just want something to be easy!! I want to create something! I want to have a day to myself - just me, maybe some friends....but no kids. I need a breather. I need to recharge.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry you have had such a horrible week. It's so hard to be the mommy and have to just trudge through all of that without a break to yourself. I know it really helps me to look at my kids and see them smile. To know that I can be there with them that I have the privilege to be able to stay home with them and take care of them how I want them taken care of and teach them the things that I want them to know to prepare them for the "outside world". Now, please don't misunderstand me I have MANY days where I just feel like I can't go on that I need more time to myself. Being a mom is the hardest job out there. But it brings the most blessings that it makes it one of the absolute most rewarding of all jobs available.
As for how to act around the person who hurt you and maybe your family too. Be yourself. You don't have to go out of your way to be nice to them or to talk to them...but don't go out of your way to avoid them and to ignore them. We never truly know what someone else is thinking and I think that's way God told us not to judge others...He is the only one who understands all sides of the situation and it's up to us to try to be the best we can be. I advise lots of prayer and pleading with your Father to help you through this and I know He will lead you to the correct path. Know that you do have many friends near and far who love you I hope this next week will be a much easier and peaceful one. :)
Aww, hun...I am so sorry that you are having a bad time...I completely understand. I have been there. Felt alone and like no one cares or anything. I know I love you - and if you ever need anything - or even just a day out with a friend, I am here. I would love a day out without the kids! ha ha! We will have to do that sometime. ;) I have had people hurt me to - and ya know what? They were 'strong Christians' too. I don't understand either. I just love them anyway...even though they treat me like crap. Not saying I totally talk to them all the time anymore, but I do love them and will talk to them if they talk to me and I will be cordial and say hello. But ... I have been there too. I pray that God gives you peace and some rest soon. =) I love you - take care sweetie. You can always lean on me if you need me. =) <3 Melinda
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