Stupid stupid stupid

So this morning I get up to go walk. I have a soft moment and think "I'll take Cali with me this morning. She'll enjoy a walk and she needs it as much as I do." So I leash her up and out we go.
Let me say right now that I have been thinking of getting rid of the dog. I have been thinking this for a long time because she is so wild, she leaves such a hairy mess on the couch, she poops all over the yard so heaven forbid that I can just go outside with Elli to play, she's chews things she's not supposed to, she's not a cuddly dog...and on and on and on.... She has positive points, though. She's not real big, she's soft, she's pretty.
Back to this morning. She was doing great keeping up with me. We were walking and then we jogged and then we walked again.....and then we started jogging again. Well, I guess she was too tired to jog so she lagged behind me. I got really ticked off and told her I wasn't bringing her ever again and she better keep up with me. Nope. In fact, she decided "Hey I know, I'll quit moving my legs all together. That will really let her know who's boss." We are on River Road at this point by the golf course. I still have to go way up to grand central several blocks around and down into my street. I have no phone. My dog won't move. So I let her sit there a second - maybe she needs a break. I start walking. She doesn't move. I yank her and pull her in her harness and she just drags her legs behind. I am pissed. I am scolding her and telling her she better start walking!!!!!!! But she can't hear me....she's deaf. I try to start walking again....she won't move. So I pick her up (all 37 pounds of her) and now have to cut short my walk and go home. I get her a little ways and set her down and think that if she's standing, she'll walk again. She just takes a couple of steps and sits and then lays. I am ready to tie her to a telephone pole and leave her. But darn it! I put a tracking chip in her. Finally, I think maybe she's hurt. There was that horse Barbaro (?) who got a stress fracture and couldn't run anymore - maybe that's the problem. So I pick her up and carry her again. Do you know how hard it is to carry a dog? Not a peuny dog but an over weight medium-sized dog? I couldn't help but laugh. What were the people looking out their windows thinking. All I wanted was for Cali to see a bird or another dog because I knew she was fine and was just being a brat....but no.
So we get home, I set her down, open the gate and off she goes into the yard - running, trotting, and being a normal dog. I hate her. I am ready to get rid of her now. Does anybody want a dog? I am being completely serious here. Seriously. I mean, you never have to take her for walks...that is, unless you want a good upper-body work out. My arms are throbbing. he isn't mean and doesn't bite....any takers?